The Art of Hermiting

July 27, 2013

I’m lying here is bed (which totally looks like a drug addicts bed because the elastic in my sheet broke and it just pulls free whenever it feels like it. Right now I'm lying on a pile of tangled sheets) and I'm trying to decide whether to get up.

I need to go to the market today:

a)      Because I need food

b)      Because I want to be around people without having to interact too much

c)       Because I'm out of toilet paper

d)      All of the above

The answer is d. I've mastered the art of being a hermit and others are starting to notice. I'm not getting praise for my new found skill, only weird looks and comments when I show myself. In my defense, I haven’t felt well and the thought of children clinging to me makes me cringe. Also, I have had a ton of work to do. The end of the term is upon me and I have exams to write and study games to invent.

Here’s my problem. Right now there is a super huge funeral going on in town. The music has been playing non-stop since yesterday evening. What stops me from just getting the heck out of town and getting to the market is I have to walk and stand in this giant funeral party.

I don’t like funerals because, a lot of the time, I attract the attention of every drunk male within two miles. This is especially bad in my village where they won’t hesitate to follow me on my walk home, trying to chat. The last thing I need is drunken males showing up at my door. Being blunt doesn't help, because they are drunk and being coy is how the women get males here, so they mostly think I'm trying to play hard to get. Being nice is the worst decision. My usual ploy is to power walk through the crowd and ignore everyone. This works 85% of the time.

Today is different because the party is right where I stand to wait for the market tro. I would have to stand in the crowd of drunken people. In America, this kind of activity would crack me up. Being the only sober person in the crowd and watching the shenanigans would thrill me. But here, where I turn into the main attraction? No thanks. Plus, for whatever reason, some Ghanaians get a kick out of watching me be uncomfortable and squirm, so getting someone to come to my aid is close to impossible.

But I need to get to the market. Besides the emergency of having no toilet paper, I have only a head of cabbage and some soggy onion rings. I don’t want to be stuck eating these things till Monday, when the funeral is done. Also I have been feeling sick and anti-social, so I've been in bed for some time (I won’t give you the exact number of days, because it’s none of your business). When I feel anti-social, but bored of being with me, in America I would go to a crowded place where I could watch people, but not be talked to. I was hoping to do the Ghana version of this at the market.

“Just do it Melissa. Stop being a chump and go do what you want to do! Don’t let the threat of drunken men deter you!”

Thanks, but it’s not that easy.  I'm hoping to wait out the funeral to the point where everyone is exhausted from the day’s activities and they go take a nap before the night celebrations begin. If this doesn't happen by 2 pm  it’s most likely not going to happen and I'm screwed.

I tried to make ketchup yesterday. It was, by far, the nastiest thing I have made to date. It took me about an hour of trying before I gave up and threw it out. Onion rings naked aren't good, but they are made so much worse with the addition of Melissa’s homemade ketchup. This is another reason to go to the market, they sell ketchup there.

Unfortunately for me, for the first time in my Peace Corps experience, some of the friends that I have made here are finished with their service and they are in the process of flying home. This is really sad. The people that are leaving are my mentors, they answered my questions truthfully, told me where to find the best food in each city, alleviated my fears, made me laugh till my sides died, help me find decent seamstresses, laughed at my stories, and most importantly , listened and sympathized with my issues here and abroad. What will I do without you guys? I guess this is the circle of Peace Corps life. Now that I'm a year in, maybe it’s my turn to be the sympathetic ear and the words of wisdom (I’ll give it my best shot, I can’t promise much).

Well, it’s time to haul myself out of bed. I could at least wash my face; pretend I'm going out even if it doesn't happen. Maybe I’ll get highly motivated and brave the crowds, maybe I’ll just watch a movie being slightly cleaner.